The G-Spot

If you think the G-spot equals mind-blowing orgasms, think again. With Italian research the latest to lay claim to this fabled female erogenous zone, our experts explain why medical opinion remains to be convinced. What is the G-spot?
Some experts say a zone called the G-spot can help a woman to orgasm.
There is still much controversy about whether the female G-spot really exists. Few doctors will give you a definite answer to this query.
Most standard gynaecological textbooks make no mention of the G-spot at all.
Anatomy manuals used by medical students and postgraduates do not show such a structure.
No gynae surgeon has seen a G-spot during an operation.
No anatomist has yet found one while dissecting a human body.
On the other hand, there is quite a lot of evidence from women’s personal experiences of sex that there is a particular area, located very close to the front wall of the vagina, which seems to give some females a remarkable amount of pleasure.And there are women who claim that stimulation of this area helps them to reach orgasm – and sometimes an orgasm of an unusual kind.So it does seem likely there is, at the very least, a collection of highly sensitive nerve-endings in the region that has come to be known as the G-spot.What is the evidence that it exists?
1944: Gräfenberg makes discoveryIn 1944 a German gynaecologist called Ernst Gräfenberg discovered a new erogenous zone, located somewhere near the front wall of the vagina.He published his conclusions in the International Journal of Sexology in 1950 in a paper called The Role of the Urethra in Female Orgasm.The urethra is the female urinary pipe and is about four centimetres long. It carries urine from the bladder to outside the body.The important thing to grasp is that the urethra is embedded in the front wall of the vagina. Therefore, pressing on the lower part of the anterior vaginal wall will create pressure on the urethra.Dr Gräfenberg claimed that stimulating this area would cause the tissues to swell up, and would give the woman intense sexual pleasure and orgasm. He also linked this erogenous zone to the phenomenon of female ejaculation.In 1950, few people paid Gräfenberg any attention. Throughout the fifties and sixties, his name was only known to doctors as the inventor of the coil (intra-uterine device).
1981: the spot is namedThe spot started attracting attention again in 1981, when Dr Addiego and his colleagues published an article in the Journal of Sex Research called Female Ejaculation: A Case Study.This report was based on a study of just one woman, who said she experienced 'a deeper orgasm' when the front wall of her vagina was rubbed.The authors started calling this area of the body the G-spot in honour of Gräfenberg.
1982: the phenomenon beginsIn 1982, US researchers Ladas, Whipple and Perry published a bestselling book called The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality.This attracted headlines all over the world, and millions of people got the idea that you would have wonderful orgasms if you could find this fabled spot.
1983-2007: a modern gynaecological myth?During the 1980s and 90s, a lot of scientists tried to establish what the G-spot actually was, but with fairly inconclusive results.Their studies were limited by the fact that scanning of female genitalia was still in its infancy.In 2001 this led to the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology calling the Gräfenberg spot 'a modern gynecologic myth'.
2008: ultrasound breakthroughIn March 2008 the G-spot again caused a worldwide sensation when an Italian team from the University of L'Aquila reported they had done ultrasound scans on 20 women.They found about half of the women had a 'thickened area' between the vagina and the urethra.Females who had this thickened area were more likely to say they experienced vaginal orgasms.Vaginal orgasms are those caused by stimulating the vagina alone, as opposed to direct stimulation of the clitoris.This somewhat ambiguous finding has been interpreted by many to mean 'the Italians have found the G-spot'.But this was a very small sample of women, so the majority of scientists and doctors remain skeptical. A far more significant number of women would need to be scanned before this research is taken more seriously.
What about future research?Possible future lines of investigation include the following.
Is the G-spot really made up of Skene's glands - tiny glandular structures that are rather like the male's prostate?
Is the spot really part of the wall of the urethra that contains erectile tissue?
Is the G-spot actually part of the 'roots' of the clitoris, which an Australian doctor has now shown to extend far further than had previously been thought?
What does all this mean for your sex life?At the moment, more research needs to be done to confirm where the G-spot is and whether all women have it.
Women: if your partner is able to stimulate your G-spot, you may find it gives you new and exciting sensations. It's unlikely you'll be able to stimulate yourself in this way, because it's hard to reach the right area unless you've got very long fingers.
Men: knowing how to stimulate this area with your fingertips may be a useful addition to your bedtime repertoire and give extra pleasure to your partner. But trying to reach the G-spot with your penis during sex is not easy. You might have success if the woman is sitting astride you and facing you, and then leans backwards, so the penis presses against her front vaginal wall.
You can also buy G-spot vibrators. They have a kink in the end so the tip can reach the front wall of the vagina. But they are quite difficult to use, unless you have a good knowledge of female anatomy.What will it feel like?If you or your man are trying to rub the G-spot, it may at first just feel uncomfortable and give you an overwhelming desire to pee.If you try to ignore this feeling for a few seconds, you may be lucky and suddenly experience quite a thrilling sense of building excitement.But we cannot stress too much that this is not the case in all women.
Some women say they definitely have a G-spot and it's something that gives them enormous pleasure when it's stimulated.
Others tell us they hate having this area rubbed.
Plenty say its okay, but not nearly as good as clitoral stimulation.
And contrary to what you may have heard, stimulation of the G-spot alone is not very likely to bring the woman to a shattering orgasm. In our experience, few women will climax unless the clitoris is being stimulated at the same time.So, in conclusion, you may want to have a go at finding your G-spot and giving it some attention - but we cannot guarantee that it will be your cup of tea.

For the average person, the most important thing to know about the G-spot is how to find it - or at least, how to find the place where it's supposed to be.
Both partners should agree they are going to search for the G-spot. The man shouldn't spring it on the woman as a surprise.
The woman should lie on her back and make sure she is comfortable, relaxed and well-lubricated.
With his palm upwards, the man should gently insert his index finger into her vagina.
When it is fully in, he should make a 'beckoning' movement until his fingertip comes into contact with the front wall of her vagina.
He should then rub that area.
If he is in the right zone, she will immediately experience a desire to pee.
With luck, she will also experience considerable pleasure.

What is masturbation?

To masturbate means to stimulate yourself in a sexual way. This can be done by hand, or with sex aids - some highly-sexed women can even do it by rubbing their thighs together. And a tiny minority of women can do it with no genital contact at all, but simply through caressing their breasts. Such stimulation often leads to orgasm, but not invariably, as many women enjoy stroking themselves and experiencing pleasure that does not necessarily culminate in a climax. Most men have masturbated, often beginning at a fairly young age. Women tend to start masturbation later however, and it does not tend to be such an automatic activity as it is for most men and boys. Furthermore, even once a woman has learned to masturbate, she will probably do it less than the average man - and it seems that far fewer women than men do it regularly.Various people have speculated on why this is the case. But most agree that it is to do with basic sex drive. It does appear that if you compare the sex drive of an average young woman and an average young man, then the man is likely to be the more highly sexed of the two. This is partly because a woman’s fluctuating hormones tend to mean that her desire for sex is not as constant as a man’s is. Another reason for masturbation being less important to women than men is that a man’s sexual apparatus is all outside his body and he is focused on the pleasure his penis provides him from a very young age. Women’s sex organs are less obvious. For example, the clitoris - which is the main organ of pleasure in most women - is hidden away under the labia. Also, though this is less the case now than it used to be, girls have traditionally been brought up to be more modest and secretive about their bodies. Even so, many young women nowadays will enjoy masturbation prior to experiencing love play or intercourse with a partner. But vast numbers of females do not discover masturbation till their late teens – and some never do it at all.Is masturbation a good thing?Years ago, girls were told that masturbation was an ‘immature’ activity and that it was important not to get too fixated on it and that if you did, then you might be unable to progress to ‘proper’ lovemaking with a man. Most experts now regard this sort of advice as nonsense.Indeed, most clinicians and counsellors working in the world of sex and/or relationship therapy believe that a woman can learn a great deal about her own sexual response through masturbation, and that she can then pass on what she knows to any partner - male or female - she may have. So, masturbation should not be regarded as immature or shameful. It is something that most normally-sexed women do. They may reserve it for when they feel in need of a treat, or they may do it very regularly – even when they are in a relationship.Some women choose to masturbate in order to ease abdominal cramps during their periods. Others only ever do it if they feel seriously frustrated. And yet others do it both privately and also as part of the loveplay they share with their partners. All this is normal. What's the best way for women to have an orgasm?If you don't know exactly what it is you like or what it takes for you to reach orgasm, it's a good idea to practise on your own.For some people the very idea of stimulating themselves can seem worrying, or unappealing, or something to be ashamed of. It’s a good idea if women can rid themselves of these feelings. Masturbation is a great way to lessen tension in your body. It’s a very safe way to have an orgasm. And it’s probably the best way to learn about how your body likes to be loved. . But masturbation, like most things, takes practice. And the only way to learn about your own sexual response is to try it.If you have never tried masturbation, or you want to do it in such a way that will be more pleasurable and satisfying then it has been in the past, then you might need to plan how and when to do it, rather than leave it to chance. For a start, you need to ensure that you’re going to have adequate time to yourself and that you won't be interrupted
Begin by taking a shower, or a long, luxurious, scented bath. Soap your body all over and enjoy touching your breasts and your genitals in particular.
Dry yourself carefully, then rub your favourite lotion all over your body. Keep touching your body everywhere - it might be a good idea to stand in front of a mirror while you do it. This is your body – a body capable of giving you great pleasure – so enjoy looking at it and getting used to the sight and feel of it.
At this point, as long as you know that you're in no danger of being disturbed, move to your bedroom. Make sure that it is warm and comfortable. Put on some relaxing music if you like. And just enjoy yourself.
Lie down on your bed and use a mirror to look at your private and intimate places. Gently spread your labia: you may want to use a spot of lubrication There are very nice modern ones that increase the sensuouness of the occasion – such as Wet, Liquid Silk and Pjur. But if you don’t have any lubrication, then use saliva.
Try to tighten and relax the muscles at the base of the pelvis.
If you find it difficult to know whether you're doing this successfully, try inserting a couple of fingers inside your vagina. That way, you'll be able to feel whether you're tightening and relaxing the muscles or not. Many women much prefer masturbation if they can feel some bulk in the vagina at the same time as they stimulate the clitoris – so touching yourself internally might feel very good indeed.
If you now tighten and relax the muscles in rapid succession you will feel contractions of the kind that many women experience when having an orgasm.
You might also notice a warm sensation in your abdomen. Try touching yourself all over your body, including the breasts and your genitals where you will quickly find the most sensitive spots. In particular, experiment near the opening of the vagina and clitoris and stimulate yourself in whatever way feels best. So long as you do not rush, and you are keeping relaxed, then your own fingers will automatically do the right thing and will move with the right amount of speed and intensity for you.
Try to familiarise yourself with exactly how touching yourself makes you feel. Ignore everything around you. Just think about what is going on inside you, or fantasise about making love with someone you care for, or with a celebrity, or in some gorgeous and romantic place.
While you touch yourself, you might like to look at something that turns you on - pictures, perhaps, a film; even a sexy book. Interestingly men and women differ somewhat is what they find arousing. Most men like graphic pictures of sexy women or of people having sex. Women are frequently much more turned on by words – so an erotic novel can often increase a woman’s pleasure.
If, as is likely, your sexual tension rises, keep going. If you have never previously masturbated to orgasm, you might suddenly feel tired and want to stop. Or you may be nervous about the build up of excitement in your body. Don’t worry about this. Just take your time. And if you don’t want to go on right now, then that’s fine. You can always try again another day. Eventually, the pleasant feelings will build up and you’ll be comfortable with this and increasingly excited and you won’t want to stop. When that happens, you will almost certainly suddenly experience a huge rush of ecstatic feeling and you will bring yourself to orgasm.
For some women it is not enough to just use their fingers - they like to use sex aids as well. A vibrator may be useful, or you could try stimulating yourself with the hand spray when you are in the shower. Use your fingers at the same time.
If they follow the guidelines above, almost everyone should be able to learn to masturbate and have an orgasm. But remember, these are only guidelines. Experiment, and you may well find a better way to turn yourself on.
Like other sexual activity, masturbation can be improved by varying how you do it. This is particularly true for women who are between relationships and for whom masturbation is the sole sexual activity at that period in their lives. Most women find that their fingers do the trick wonderfully – as they instinctively match their speed or weight to our requirements. But a vibrator can help someone who finds it hard to get to orgasm and can also be useful as a change from digital masturbation. When it comes to vibrators, don’t necessarily assume that something that is a market-leader is necessarily going to be the best thing for you. It might not be. We all have different likes and dislikes. And do remember that not all vibrators now look like lurid penises! Some are quite different nowadays. Those which work on a suction principle can be very effective. And there are others that have been designed by women sex therapists that have quite unconventional shapes. One range, called Emotional Bliss, has been designed by Julia Cole, who is one of the UK’s most eminent sex and relationship experts. Buying vibrators and other sex aids including lubrication and erotic literature is now much easier for women than it was in the past as there are a number of online sex shops run by women for women that are a pleasure to ‘shop’ in.

Beautiful things about women

1. It is amazing how women are so wonderfully giving and loving. Their love is unconditional and forever. And once they forgive, they really forget. They don’t dig out the heavy artillery, even when they have the best opportunities to do so.
2. It is lovely how women manage to hear you out for hours. They never pass judgments. Never say you are wrong (even if you have behaved like the worst jerk in the world). And when you ask for their opinion they give it without managing to make you feel a worm. They criticize without wounding.
3. The most adorable thing about a women is her blush. It speaks volumes and conveys things which even she won’t openly admit too. It is a real turn on when a women blushes at you. It shows she more than cares, she is crazy about you.
4. A smile. I dig women’s smile. Now when women smiles, she really smiles. No pretences, She smiles from her heart and speaks with her eyes. It is amazing how many ways women smiles. She has a tender smile, a loving smile, a “what will I do with you” kinda smile. A saucy grin. a smile of gentle indulgence and finally the best of them the complete smile. The smile that says “Whatever you are, however you are, I love you”
5. The way they get all in a frenzy, when they want to let you know of their achievements. Their eyes say “I want you to be proud of me” but they will die rather than admit it, After all they only wanted to let you know.
6. I love a woman when she loses her temper. She gets all fluttered, says all sort of things she doesn’t mean, is generally very harsh and then bursts into tears. Now help me out here, who is one being yelled at?
7. I am amazed at the reticence of a woman. If men were dished even half the crap some women are dished out every day we would raise a hue and cry. But women bear it all and come out smiling. They even manage to love the jerk who does it all to them.
8. I love the general “do-good” attitude that is an undeniable part of every woman. They are out to reform everyone. They will give you sermons on all your vices (by the number of ‘vices’ they list you will feel a worse insect than Satan will) and tell you have to reform to be a “better” person. And will be hurt if you don’t wanna change.
9. I know you may think me a sadist due to this but personally I think the most beautiful and irresistible thing about a woman is her tear. It is guaranteed to break down the hardest of resistances and melt the stoniest hearts. On the other side it also shows the breaking of all the barriers a woman builds up. When a woman is crying she is opening up completely before you and trusts you enough for it.
10. And finally the answer I heard most often, “I can’t tell you any single thing that I love about a woman, It is the perfect mix that makes men go weak-kneed. The sensuality combined with nurturing, the naughtiness combined with caring, the vivacity coupled with quiet understanding. It is a heady mix and man, it is very intoxicating.

Things your mother should have told you

Even today, many women say that they never got enough sexual information from their mothers (and fathers!). So no wonder so many females are less than satisfied with their love lives. Here are four facts that you almost certainly weren't told by your mother. But knowing them could help you to a more enjoyable sex life.

Fact one: climaxing isn't that easyFor most females, learning to climax is quite a difficult and time-consuming business. Nowadays, men tend to suggest to women that they should be able to reach orgasm very easily. The media – and that includes romantic novels and erotic films – often give the same impression.Yet our research shows that the average British female doesn't start having reliable orgasms until about two years after she first has sex with a man!However, there are many women who don't conform to this pattern: for instance, a lot of teenage girls learn to climax on their own - through masturbation - long before they ever go near a guy. But in general, the ability to 'come' has to be learned over a considerable period of time. So if you haven't managed it yet, don't be downhearted – as you almost certainly will get there. Some of our patients first ‘rang the bell’ when they were in their 40s!

Fact two: almost any woman can ‘come’ Practically any woman should be able to have orgasms - and indeed multiple orgasms - if she really wants to. Back in your mom's day, sex was still quite a taboo subject and talking about orgasms was even more taboo. Even as late as the early 1990s, it was widely felt among middle-aged women that for a 'lady' to want orgasms badly wasn't quite 'nice'. And for her to want multiple orgasms was a bit outrageous!Furthermore, when your Mom was young, many so-called 'experts' suggested that multiple orgasms were almost impossible for most females. However, we now know that:

a. virtually any woman can have an orgasm - if her clitoris is stimulated long enough and expertly enough (and of course provided that she's in the right mood!).

b. similarly further intense stimulation after the first orgasm will usually produce another.. and another... and another...

We're not saying that you can achieve all this overnight but, if you stimulate your own clitoris for long enough over a period of time, you can eventually achieve as many orgasms as you like. Clearly you can also have multiple orgasms if you have a partner - male or female - who is devoted to giving you pleasure, and who you love and cherish.

Fact three: masturbation is OK There is nothing wrong with 'do it yourself sex'. Indeed, sex experts now agree that masturbation can be enormously useful in helping a woman:
to learn how to reach orgasm
to learn how to reach multiple orgasm.
So don't hesitate to go for it.

Fact four: oral sex is OK too A generation ago, oral sex was widely considered to be something rather ‘dirty'.One of us worked with a professor of bacteriology who actually refused to process ‘throat swabs’ for sexually transmitted infections – because he couldn’t believe that people were doing such things …So your Mum probably didn’t tell you that:
oral sex is a great help to many women in reaching a climax
it’s very helpful to men who have erection difficulties
for a lot of people (admittedly, not everyone), it’s jolly good fun!
If you haven’t attempted it before, then can we assure you that it’s well worth a try!

By Dr David Delvin